Frustration and a new approach

I haven't written much lately, but I have still been putting in the effort.  I've been eating better, exercising more, and not seeing any results.  I cannot tell you how frustrating that is.  I'm not good at counting calories or keeping a food journal.  I know things like that would help, but I just don't have the time/patience/energy to do it.  I need help.  And sometimes it's the middle of the night and there's an infomercial on and you totally buy into it.
So I'm doing the 21 Day Fix.  It's basically portion control and an exercise program.  I'm on day 8, though I didn't do the exercise over the weekend.  I still tried to stay pretty much on diet, but that's not easy when you aren't at home.  The exercise is no joke.  I was not aware that you could get a cramp in an ab muscle (or that I had an ab muscle to get a cramp in).  My legs weren't fully functional for three days after the first workout. Before the weekend, I was down eight pounds from my heaviest.  I'm trying not to get on the scale too often.  I'm not trying to tell you I'm enjoying this whole process.  This is why us fat people stay fat.  But I'm still doing it.

Back at It

Here I am, more than a week since I last exercised.  We have been sick at this house.  I mean SICK.  The 4 year old had a stomach bug, which I caught, though not as bad as him.  We sent the 2 year old to my parents' house so she didn't catch it.  While she was there, she came down with the flu.  Of course we didn't quarantine quickly enough, so I got the flu, followed by the 7 month old.  The husband was the only one who didn't get really sick.  He had a head cold, but not enough to get out of taking care of the rest of us.  It's been a rough couple of weeks.  But I'm not using it as an excuse, as much as I would like to.

I'm back at it today.  I'm going to start kind of slow because I'm still not 100%.  I did get a full night's sleep last night.  It's been a while since I did that.  And I've done some exercise with a stability ball today.  I learned that I am not that stable.  Here's the routine I did:

I've only done it once, though it says to do it 2 to 3 times.  I'll try another round in a few minutes.  It was tougher than it looked.  And those were some wobbly push ups I eked out.  I'll still weigh in tomorrow.  I'm not feeling too confident about it, but I already missed one.  Hopefully having everyone on the mend means I can get back into a routine,

What Setback?

I braved the Netflix and elliptical yesterday, and it was stressful.  But you know what else it was?  Successful!  I got so distracted watching my show that I went 5 miles.  I told a friend of mine that that's basically a marathon in my world.  I told myself I would not stop until the tragic events unfolded on my TV.  Of course they happened at the end of the episode so I was on there for a while.  But I was shocked when I looked down and saw my distance.  It has been YEARS since I did anything other than drive a car for 5 miles.

So all this talk about setbacks and starting from scratch, maybe it's not exactly starting over.  I could not have done that much when I started, even though that was just a couple of weeks ago.  My legs felt like Jello when I finished, but they still worked.  They still kind of feel like Jello, so today's workout consisted of a mix of yoga, Pilates, and ballet.  I even had a helper.

I guess the lesson for today is not to get discouraged.  I was nervous to get back to exercising because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do as much.  Turns out I was able to do even more.  The progress I had made didn't disappear as quickly as I thought it would.  Hopefully I can remember that in the future.

Weigh In Wednesday

I was nervous when I stepped on the scale this morning.  I clearly haven't been doing it right, though I have eaten better.  I keep thinking I'm going to turn on a show and get on the elliptical.  The problem I'm having with that is that I've come to a point in Sons of Anarchy where I don't want to go farther.  I know that in the next episode, my favorite character is going to die.  No spoilers, but if you've seen the show, you probably know where I am.  Do you think I'll burn more calories if I'm exercising and ugly crying at the same time?  I've been putting it off for a week, so today is the day.  I'm sad just thinking about it.

Now back to that scale.  Ya'll, I lost almost a pound.  I cannot believe it.  I know it doesn't sound like much, but when you haven't seen the number go down in a long time, it's pretty exciting.  Physical evidence that I have been doing at least a little something right!  Putting broccoli and kale into smoothies instead of eating a Pop Tart for breakfast has paid off.  Now to keep doing it.  And go exercise.  If anyone hears sobbing, it's just me mourning the loss of a fictional character that I've become entirely too attached to.  But at least I'll be exercising.

Real Talk

So this is hard.  When I decided to share this whole weight loss attempt, it didn't occur to me that I would have to write about not doing well.  But being fully transparent could help hold me accountable, so here it goes.

I had a long, stressful week.  The husband was out of town.  My daughter busted her head open and had to go to the emergency room.  I was out of town for a couple of days.  I went to a funeral.  I'm getting clothes ready for a consignment sale.  There was a lot going on.  These sound like excellent excuses to not work out, right?  Only if you're looking for excuses, which I clearly was.

Another thing.  I picked my "before" picture because it didn't look so bad.  That's kind of cheating I think.  So Saturday morning I took a more accurate picture.  And here it is

Having not put in the effort I needed to, I'm kind of starting from scratch.  But all I can do is try again.  So wish me luck. I'll still weigh in tomorrow with the hopes that all those smoothies with gross stuff like kale made some difference.  I'm not calling it a failure; just a little setback .

Weigh In Wednesday

Ya'll want to hear some discouraging mess?  I've apparently lost 0.2 pounds.  Not discouraging enough to quit, but not ideal either.  I definitely feel better, so that's good news.  I mean, better is maybe not the right word.  Cause that 10 minute tabata situation from yesterday is still burning in my legs.  That's good I think.  I'm going to try it again today, but it is not going to be fun.

So sticking with it is the theme today.  I think this is why we quit.  I can't see a difference, and neither can my scale.  That's super frustrating.  I bought a workout shirt that says, "This wasn't built overnight."  Maybe if I'm wearing it, I'll believe it.  I bought a size large, which kind of cracked me up.  Cause what I have now wasn't built overnight either. The trouble is that fat kind of sneaks up on you.  Nobody wakes up skinny one day.  I guess if it were that easy, everybody would be the size they want.  I'm going to take a hint from my idol, Miss Mindy Kaling:

 

This also means I have my son's Daniel Tiger song stuck in my head. "Keep trying, you'll get better."  This is much more annoying than you might think.  But it's true.  I can't teach my children to practice tying their own shoes or reading and not give up when it gets hard if I don't take my own advice.  So here it goes, kids.  Mama's got some exercising to do.

Trying New Things

I have been so encouraged by the people who have reached out to me as they've read this silly little blog.  People I haven't talked to in ages have sent me messages.  I can't tell you guys how much I appreciate it.  Cause this thing is hard.  I'm getting a better sense of that the more I hear from you guys.  I've learned that we all want to do better, and we all need more support.  I hope this can be an outlet for that.  A couple of people have given me tips and ideas about how to be more successful.  Please know those are always welcome.  If I knew what I was doing, I would be the average sized friend, not the fat friend.  I'm open to trying anything.  Eating what I want and not exercising except for chasing kids is not the best method, I've learned.  So this first effort is a combination of what two people have suggested.

My day started crazy early today.  The husband had to leave for work while it was still dark out today, so of course I woke up.  I'm talking there was a five still on the clock.  I'm a morning person for the most part, but when it's still dark, that is not morning.  And the kids were all still asleep so the motivation was lacking.  After not moving for a few minutes, I realized I would not be going back to sleep.  I managed to talk myself into getting up and going to the elliptical.  The first Jimmy Smits episode of Sons of Anarchy helped get me going.  I'm trying not to let myself watch unless I'm actually doing something at the same time, and I REALLY wanted to watch.  I managed to do three miles before I thought I'd collapse.

Here's where the new methods come in.  One person I spoke to mentioned that it's not as effective to just do cardio.  i need to mix it up a little.  The problem for me is that I feel like I've accomplished something if there's some sort of screen I can look at that tells me how far I've traveled or how many calories I've burned.  I can't let go of that yet, so I decided to just add other things to it.

Another friend suggested Tabata workouts.  These are short intervals of exercise.  It's alternating 20 seconds of exercise and 10 seconds of rest, repeated four times.  Sounds easy, right?  The nice thing is that you can do it anywhere and it doesn't take long.  I did a 10 minute beginner workout to start.  Ya'll, I know it sounds like that's not much, but I am feeling it.  And it was short enough and fun enough that the kids did it with me.  There are different workouts for different levels.  I found lots of them on Pinterest.  

I'm weighing in tomorrow, but I don't think I'll see a big change this week.  Why can't it be like on The Biggest Loser where they lose like half a person during the first week?  I could use a little high five from the scale to keep me going.  But whatever happens, I do feel better, and that's really the point.